Humility

I hate bullies. Just yesterday, it was reported on Straits Times that a third-year NUS student, Ms Keira Chen was flamed online by many netizens because of an article she wrote in an online student newspaper.

Now, some of the comments (insults) she received on the USP Facebook Group were vicious and personal. For instance, someone commented that 'she wasn't the brightest crayon in the box'. Another said something like 'Keira Chen, YOU ARE VEH STUPID AND YOU SEEM SO PROUD OF IT'.

I'm disgusted and appalled at many of the comments made. It shows a total lack of humility. Bullies think (or try to think) that they are like 10 times better than their victims. And since they are better, they have the right to scold, abuse and make fun of their victims.

Okay, not all of us here are bullies of any kind. But in any case, I think in order for us to be a life-long learner and succeed in life, we ought to have the character of humility.

To me, a person with humility is someone who accepts diversity and considers others better than himself.

Everyone has his own talents and strengths, experiences in life, values, perspectives, etc. We are all so diverse and that's what makes this world interesting and colourful. Even as a teacher, I find that there are many things I can learn from my students.

For instance, I have this student in my school who had an horrific accident last December. He was seriously injured and was hospitalized for a few months. When he first returned to school, he was on a wheelchair and could not walk on his own. A couple of months later, this student went on to clinch the top spot in the National Schools' Sailing Competition (B Division byte class)! (You can find an article on him here.)

I am amazed at what my student had done - such resilience and courage, all in the face of adversity. I feel that I have a lot to learn from him.

Hence, my bottom line is this: don't look down on anyone or make nasty remarks about anyone. Everyone - EVERYONE has something you can learn from.

Integrity (who I am when nobody's looking..)

Before I say anything about integrity, please understand that I am not there yet, in all the values mentioned. I'm still pretty much work-in-progress and I just want to share some insights on these values, based on my own personal experiences.

Let me begin with a story.. 10 years ago, when I first got my driving license, I did something that was shameful and till date, it still pricks my conscience. I was involved in a 'hit and run' incident. (Ok, I didn't kill or injure anyone, in case you're wondering..) I was trying to park my car and I hit a pick-up. I made the worst decision possible - that is to drive off. I was afraid of the consequences and since no one saw the incident, I might as well...

My act came out of fear and total lack of integrity. Though in a sense, I got away scot-free, this whole incident replayed itself in my head many times. Even now, I could still remember how it all happened.

Upon reflection, I realized that many times, we need to make choices in life. And usually, the choice that is more difficult to make, that would be the choice of character.

The above incident taught me a good lesson. From then on, I decide to always make choices of character. I want to be consistent about who I am on the outside (which everybody sees) and who I am on the inside (which few or on one would see).

A person with no integrity, no matter how talented, just a hypocrite. Once someone finds out his true character (or lack of), he would be deemed as untrustworthy. And once you break the trust in any relationships, it would take a long time to heal.

To sum it up, people would trust a person who has integrity.

Let me end of this post with a more positive story. A few years after that incident, my uni course-mates and I had to take this quiz in a lecture theatre. It was supposed to be a closed-book quiz and there was only 1 supervising lecturer. You can guess.. many of the students actually discussed answers with one another during the quiz and some even took out notes and referred to them.

I made a decision not to do any of the above. I did the whole quiz on my own without cheating. Whatever results that I got out of that quiz truly belonged to me. 

The Last Lesson

Last Thursday, I had my last Science lessons with all my classes in my current school. Instead of just doing the usual teaching, I shared with my students some things that really matter to me. This was kind of inspired by Randy Pausch, who did the famous 'Last Lecture'.

Basically, I shared briefly about values and life lessons that meant a lot to me personally. I hope that my students would not make the mistakes that I did.

Here it goes (I amended some stuff below after listening to Dr John Maxwell earlier today):

1. Integrity (it's about who I am when nobody's looking)
2. Humility (appreciate diversity and consider others better than myself)
3. Resilience (it is okay to fail - no big deal)
4. Run my own race (excel and not compete)
5. Have a purpose in life and be passionate about it!
6. Be others-centred (the world seriously doesn't revolve around me)

Over the next few blog posts, I would share more about the above-mentioned things!

Is it the rich, and not the clever that succeeds?

Last week, a student from my school asked Mr Heng (Minister of Education) if today in Singapore, it is the rich and not the clever that succeeds. He felt that many of his friends who were more well-off attended tuition / enrichment classes outside of school. He didn't, mainly because his family didn't have so much resources. (I thought that was a very good question..)

Mr Heng's reply was that basically the government needs to ensure that there is social mobility in Singapore. Even students that come from humble background should have the chance to do well in school, obtain scholarships and get good jobs.

I do not think that it is easy for the government to regulate tuition or enrichment classes. If the parents are wealthy enough to send their kids for these classes, so be it. This is the same as pre-schools. Well-to-do parents can afford to send their kids to expensive centres that cost more than $2000 a month, whereas some send their kids to PCF. 

It is true that some kids have may have a headstart because of their family background. It is also true that in this sense, life is unfair. There is really no point in lamenting about this. We just have to accept it and move on. 

I think that inspiring and cultivating the right values and character in a child is more important than all those expensive classes. And this, every family can do it - be it you are wealthy or not. I have so many friends who didn't come from wealthy families and yet are doing reasonably well in life. This can be said the same for many of my students too.  

After all, my opinion is that character lasts - not knowledge, mental capacity or talents. 

Gladys Aylward

I don't think many of us have heard who Gladys Aylward is. I only read about her recently in a book. And I am utterly amazed at this heroine of faith.

She was a poor English woman who felt the Lord's calling for her to go into mainland China as a missionary. That was a few years before 1930. However, she was rejected by a mission organization because she was deemed to old to learn the Chinese language.

That did not stop her. She worked as a parlordmaid (similar to our present-day domestic helper) and saved up most of her savings to purchase a ride to China. Even then, her ride to China was not easy. She had to take ships, trains and even do some walking because of wars and battles. She survived and made it to China.

In summary, look at the odds stacked against her:

1. She was poor.
2. She was rejected by a mission organization.
3. She had to endure an arduous and difficult journey to China (alone!).
4. She can't speak any Chinese language when she first reached China.
5. She had to do share the gospel to people who considered her 'foreign devil'.
6. The Japanese attacked China and she was caught in the middle of the firefight during WW2.
7. The civil war between the Nationalists and the Communists happened after WW2.

All the above did not stop her. She helped started an inn to share the gospels with people who stopped by, became a foot inspector and shared the good news with women, put down a prison rebellion, adopted orphans and most incredibly, evacuated 100 orphans to Xian with little resources via treacherous mountains and Japanese patrols and warplanes nearby.

Subsequently, she served in Taiwan till she was called home to be with the Lord in 1970. 

Here was a life, totally expended and given to the Lord. Besides Glayds' great faith in the Lord, she overcame all of the odds mainly because she had a willing heart. And God certainly used her to transform many others.

That caused me to reflect on my life. Complaining and grumbling at times when serving God. What I had experienced is only but a small fraction of what Gladys went through. 

My prayer today is: "God, I am willing."

This is me, checking in today

Last night, Pastor Khong preached a message about "The King and I - The Divine Romance". As he was reading out this poem about old Jim, I was deeply touched. Somehow, in the midst of so-called busyness, I have often neglected my devotion time with God.

I want to learn from old Jim. Here it goes (extracted from http://www.fathershands.com/jim/):

A minister passing through his church
in the middle of the day,
Decided to pause by the altar
and see who had come to pray.

Just then the back door opened,
a man came down the aisle,
The minister frowned as he saw
the man hadn't shaved in a while.

His shirt was kinda shabby
and his coat was worn and frayed,
the man knelt, he bowed his head,
then rose and walked away.

In the days that followed,
each noon time came this chap,
each time he knelt just for a moment,
a lunch pail in his lap.

Well, the minister's suspicions grew,
with robbery a main fear,
He decided to stop the man and ask him,
"What are you doing here?"

The old man said, he worked down the road.
Lunch was half an hour.
Lunchtime was his prayer time,
for finding strength and power.

"I stay only moments, see,
because the factory is so far away;
as I kneel here talking to the Lord,
this is kinda what I say:

"I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, LORD,
HOW HAPPY I'VE BEEN,
SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHER'S FRIENDSHIP
AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN.
DON'T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY,
BUT I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY.
SO, JESUS, THIS IS JIM CHECKING IN TODAY."

The minister feeling foolish,
told Jim, that was fine.
He told the man he was welcome
to come and pray just anytime.

Time to go, Jim smiled, said
"Thanks." He hurried to the door.
The minister knelt at the altar,
he'd never done it before.

His cold heart melted, warmed with love,
and met with Jesus there.
As the tears flowed, in his heart,
he repeated old Jim's prayer:

"I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, LORD,
HOW HAPPY I'VE BEEN,
SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHER'S FRIENDSHIP
AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN.
I DON'T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY,
BUT I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY.
SO, JESUS, THIS IS ME CHECKING IN TODAY."

Past noon one day, the minister noticed
that old Jim hadn't come.
As more days passed without Jim,
he began to worry some.

At the factory, he asked about him,
learning he was ill.
The hospital staff was worried,
but he'd given them a thrill.

The week that Jim was with them,
brought changes in the ward.
His smiles, a joy contagious.
Changed people, were his reward.

The head nurse couldn't understand
why Jim was so glad,
when no flowers, calls or cards came,
not a visitor he had.

The minister stayed by his bed,
he voiced the nurse's concern:
No friends came to show they cared.
He had nowhere to turn.

Looking surprised, old Jim spoke up
and with a winsome smile;
"the nurse is wrong, she couldn't know,
that in here all the while
everyday at noon He's here,
a dear friend of mine, you see,
He sits right down, takes my hand,
leans over and says to me:

"I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, JIM,
HOW HAPPY I HAVE BEEN,
SINCE WE FOUND THIS FRIENDSHIP,
AND I TOOK AWAY YOUR SIN.
ALWAYS LOVE TO HEAR YOU PRAY,
I THINK ABOUT YOU EACH DAY,
AND SO JIM, THIS IS JESUS
CHECKING IN TODAY."

Winning Isn't Everything

How time passes. I have been the teacher I/C of Raffles Basketball for nearly 5 years. I was just asking myself this question recently - when was I proudest of Raffles Basketball as teacher I/C?

Yes, I was proud of our team when we won C Div National's 3rd in 2008. And of course, all the South Zone titles that we have won over the years - I'm proud of that too.

But the memory that I really cherish is not any of those.

It was 2011. National's round 2. Our B boys have lost our first game to Jurong Sec by 14 points. We won our second game. Still, if we want to make it to National semi-finals, we have to win our last game by 10 points or more. The only catch is, we have to defeat Dunman Sec - East Zone Runners-up, and highly rated (and yes, eventual 2011 B Boys National champions). And we have to do it without our key player - CC who dislocated his shoulder.

The game started with Dunman Sec completely outclassing and dominating Raffles. Our players couldn't find our shots and their players couldn't stop scoring. At one point, Dunman Sec was leading by around 30 points. Many people - perhaps even myself - thought that was it.

Then gradually, things began to change in the 3rd and 4th quarter. Our players did not gave up. They clawed back into the game by hustling for every single loose ball, playing tight defense and shooting the ball really well.

Finally, with 5 seconds left, the scoreline was leveled at 46-46! Our point guard BK stood at the free-throw line and missed two free throws, perhaps hoping to go into extra-time so that we have a chance to beat Dunman Sec by a larger margin. Alas! We couldn't get the rebound, and we accidentally fouled their star player who calmly put in the two free-throws.

Yes, we lost the game 46-48. But I dare say that was the proudest game for me as teacher I/C. Why? Because our players fought relentlessly and demonstrated resilience despite the overwhelming odds. They stood up tall as a team and showed everyone what Raffles is all about.

Every player contributed and gave his best. This kind of experience for the boys can never be taught nor imparted. They have to go through it firsthand themselves. And this is probably more important than winning the championship. In my opinion, that's what school sports should be all about.

Well, I particularly like it when the Dunman Sec coach told me what he thought about our basketball team - "RI 象一只打不死的蟑螂，真难搞！" (Translated: RI Basketball is like a cockroach that is really hard to kill!) Somehow, that gave me immense satisfaction.