The Way of the Wild Heart

I've just finished reading this book called "The Way of the Wild Heart: A Map for The Masculine Journey" by John Eldredge. Many of the things mentioned really spoke to my heart, as I thought about my growth as a man till date.

Here's a brief summary of the book, extracted from this website.

"This is a book about how a boy - and a man - becomes a man.

It's a guide to the process of masculine initiation - that ancient path every boy and man must take if they would become the man they long to be. The path whereby they come to know they are a man and are able to live and love from a deep, centered strength.

We live in a time where most men (and boys) are essentially fatherless. Whatever their circumstance, they have no man actually taking them through the many adventures, trials, battles, and experiences they need to shape a masculine heart within them. They find themselves on their own to figure life out, and that is a lonely place to be. Their fears, anger, boredom, and their many addictions all come out of this fatherless place within them--a fundamental uncertainty in the core of their being.

But there is a way."

According to John Eldredge, there're 6 stages to a man's growth. Omitting any of the stage may have consequences at the later part of life.

Stages Involved:
1. Beloved Son
2. Cowboy
3. Warrior
4. Lover
5. King
6. Sage

Beloved Son (0 to about 12 years old)
It's a time of wonder and exploration. It's also a time whereby he needs to know that he is loved, valued and adored by a father. His need for affirmation and love is of utmost importance at this stage.



Cowboy (13 to about early 20s)
It's a time of adventures and testing. The young man has a craving for something dangerous, fun and exciting. The question that he centres his life among is "Do I have what it takes?"



Warrior (early 20s to late 30s)
This is a time for the fighting spirit in man be awakened. There is a need to find a cause to fight for. It can be for the military or for the university degree that he so much wants. The inner resolution and many disciplines in life have to be acquired at this stage. He needs to live in courage and be ready to fight any time.








Lover (Overlap with previous stage)
This is a time whereby a man awakens to beauty in life. He finds himself getting intensely passionate about a girl. The romantic feelings in him begins to stir and stir. And not just this, the man begins to find a connection to his own heart.




King (early 40s to 60s)
Now, the man is in key leadership position. He 'rules' over a domain with authority, and that includes his family as well. He is at the most powerful stage of his life. And he is not alone. He leads a company of young warriors and is a living example of courage and compassion.


Sage (60s and beyond)
This is really a stage whereby gray hair and wrinkles are obvious. Along with it comes wisdom. The wealth of knowledge and experience of a sage is of great value to the younger kings and warriors. Though a sage may not say much, his presence and influence is great beyond measure.

A Faith Goal Revisted..

It's so easy to be caught up with so many things that I almost forgot something that I set out to do right at the very start of the year. It can be found in this post (2007 is a Year of Victory) way back in January 2007.

My faith goal in 2007: I want to complete 21km Standard Chartered Marathon Run this year.



I have to be realistic. At my present fitness, I can't do the 21km run. I need to train up myself physically.

And that means runs, runs and MORE runs!!

Last week, I had my first training. I ran 4km at the NUS track. It's a small but important step for me to get back into shape.

Yep, I hope to be able to train consistently for at least once or twice a week, given my busy schedule.

Why do I want to join this run?
1. I want to challenge myself.
2. A healthy and fit body gives me the alertness, strength and tenacity to press on in life, even when things are rough.
3. I want to train my mind to be determined. A lot of it depends on the mind when we go for long distances like 21km.


Who wants to join me? =)

100K Campaign

I haven't being blogging for the past week or so. I had been really busy going around giving people free gifts.

Yes, free gifts!

National Day is coming soon. As a gift to the nation, my church is on this 100K Campaign whereby collectively, we will bless 100, 000 people in Singapore.

Yes, 100, 000 people!

This blessing can come in terms of small gifts, acts of service or acts of kindness. In addition, we are also committed to pray for the needs of these people every night, for a period of 1 month. We believe that these prayers will be answered.

And there's absolutely nothing we want in return. Because we believe that "it is more blessed to give than to receive"!!

So far, I've blessed 10 people - ranging from my family members, to my friends, to my colleagues and even to total strangers. Though the target is 20, I would really want to make it a faith challenge and go for at least 30. =)

If any of you have any prayer requests, or other forms of needs, you are welcomed to approach me, either via MSN - yingmushijiang@msn.com or this blog's tagboard. I'll be glad to bless you.

Guys, let's respond to challenges!

Recently, someone told me that if we want to grow in life (means in terms of maturity and character), we have to learn to move out of our comfort zone into the combat zone. When I heard that, I really agree with it.

One thing for sure, guys at every stage of life - be it adolescent, youth, young adult or mature men, thrive on challenges. When we are young, we like to challenge our peers in almost everything - be it studies, computer games (like DOTA, CS, Halo 2) or sports. When we are older, we like to challenge ourselves in our careers. We like to live in the combat zone!

When we guys overcome challenges in our lives, it gives us a certain sense of achievement. To be exact, it makes us feel validated. Each of us will believe that "I can make it". Somehow, this is part of the guys' make up. And it's terribly important to us.

Conversely, when we guys refuse to take up any challenges in life, we lose the fighting spirit in us. We lose the zest in life. We don't dare to take risks. Everything becomes a rountine. We just want to be comfortable right where we are. And when there's a turn of events (of which we can't control, like natural diasters) that shake us up, we would be paralysed and not being able to respond.

Personally, the latest challenge came early this year. I was given the opportunity to either apply for teaching in Raffles Institution or Hwa Chong Institution. Well, I graduated from Hwa Chong more than 10 years ago. It would of course be more comfortable for me to go back to my old school.

However, I need a challenge in life. I need to be uncomfortable so that I can grow. That's one of the reasons why I decided to apply for RI. And right now, I'm a teacher in the school. Though the culture is totally different from Hwa Chong, I really felt that I've learnt a lot, and am having a great time over there. =)


(Of course, we must make sure that the challenges that we take up are good challenges, and not bad ones.)

A Call to Fight

Every guy looks for a fight, in one way or another. I'm not just talking about physical fights. I'm talking about challenges. Guys just like to have challenges.



Some guys fight it out at the basketball court. They really become competitive and want to win every single game.

Some guys fight it out in the classroom. They become so conscious of every single mark in their tests and exams that they always want to be first in class.

Some guys fight it out in the virtual world, either in Maple Story or DOTA or WoW. They want to be the best and own as many people as possible.

Guys, face it. We just like challenges. We like to win. And I really think it's nothing wrong, as long as the things we fight for are good. When the time comes for us to fight, we have to fight. If not, we will stand to miss out certain things in life.



For example, when I was in the BMT (Basic Military Training) phase of my National Service many years ago, I really wanted to become an officer. And to do it, I would have to fight for the limited places available. It was really time for me to rise up and fight.

Instead, I didn't really respond to the call to fight. I was a bit slack and tried to avoid doing too much stuff. To cut a long story short, in the end, I was posted to SISPEC (School of Infantry Specialists). My dream to become an officer was dashed.

Guys, when it's time to fight, fight. Don't run away. (Of course, please fight for the right thing)

There's no substiute - Jackie Pullinger

Last weekend, my church had the privilege of having Dr. Jackie Pullinger sharing with us her experiences in serving the poor and needy.

Jackie Pullinger - a name that probaly Singaporeans don't really know. But in Hong Kong, she must be pretty famous. Her story? Truly an amzing one.

At the age of 22, a young English woman decided to give up everything she had, and become a missionary in Hong Kong. She felt God's calling for her in that place. And she went, despite having only enough money for a one-way boat ticket.

Yes. One-way ticket. She can't turn back to England even if she wanted to. When she finally reached Hong Kong, she only had HK$100 in her wallet.

She finally came to settle down in this place in Hong Kong. It was a place where both the Mainland China and British governments ignored. It was a place where there were no laws. It was known as the "Walled City".

Kowloon Walled City

Here's a description of what the Walled City was like:
"For years the Kowloon Walled City became a no go area. In the control of Triads and drug dealers, with an estimated population in excess of 30,000. Many residents were illegal immigrants; exempt from extradition, encased within its walls. A lone European venturing into its midst would most probably never be seen again, no Chinese went in without appropriate reason. " - Tofu Magazine (click here to read more)

Jackie Pullinger - a lone European, stayed in the Walled City and served the poor and needy. The poor and needy that she served included - drug addicts, prostitutes, old people, young people, triad members, etc. And because of her, their lives were changed and they believed in Jesus.

During the conference, she shared with us how a traid boss (commanding tens of thousands members) helped her buy back a typewriter and even sent his members to protect her. Eventually, the boss also came to believe in Jesus because of her.


40 years. She had stayed in Hong Kong for the past 40 years. She given her life to serve the poor and needy.

"There's no substitue. If you want to help someone, you have to go do it yourself. Don't ever see someone in need and yet do nothing about it. The lest you can do is to pray for the person." - Jackie Pullinger

She does things without expecting anything in return.
I do things often expecting something in return.

I guess that's the difference between the heart of a saint and mine. I ought to examine myself more and learn to be more like her.

Beauty to Rescue

Most of us have read fairy tales, like Rapunzel, Cinderella, Snow White & the Seven Dwarves, and many others.

The themes of these tales are always the same: Damsels in distress, and behold! The knight (or prince) in shining armour comes along and saves the day.

Even modern movies and drama serials, we can often see the same theme as well.

Every time I come across such themes, I can always imagine myself to be the main male character, either being a cop, a prince, or some dragon-slayer or witch-killer.

Isn't that something that we guys all deeply desire? That we can have a beauty to rescue?

Perhaps some of us have not found the beauties to rescue. Perhaps some of us are too young to think about it.

Still, what we can do now is to prepare ourselves. And be ready to resuce the beauty when she comes along.

Be proactive, and not passive guys.

An Adventure to Live

More than a week ago, something hit Singapore.

Remember in the past whereby people queued up for Hello Kitty! at MacDonald's?

But this time round, it's something different. More than 15,000 people queued up OVERNIGHT at Suntec City to get the World of Warcraft Expansion Pack.

15000!!!

I think majority of those people who are engrossed in playing World of Warcraft are guys. I know myself. If I have the game, I would be playing it a lot too.

What draws many guys to this game is that this game paints a fantasy world to them. This world is so huge that people can spend a lot a lot of time exploring it. Every moment is an adventure where you can kill enemies, form new alliances with other places and complete quests.

There is something that is inside guys that goes for adventures. Guys like to take risk. They like the thrill of it. Even if some guys don't enjoy playing World of Warcraft, things like roller coasters and viking boats do have appeal towards them.

The name of the blog of a very good friend of mine, Ee Jay, is "Life is either a daring adventure or nothing". On this blog, the key quote is by Theodore Roosevelt:

"Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorius triumphs, even though checkered by failure... than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."

A Battle to Fight

Saving Private Ryan


Maximus (Gladiator)


Maverick (Top Gun)

John McClane (Die Hard)

William Wallace (Braveheart)

All of the above are famous male characters of movies. Movies that were blockbusters in their times. Some of the movies, you will probably know. The rest might not belong to your era.

Interestingly enough, each of those characters was either a solider, gladiator, pilot or cop. They all had battles to fight. There's so much passion in them that they were willing to lay down their lives. Some wanted vengenace. Some wanted freedom. Some wanted glory. But they all fight.

One of the toys that will always excite a small boy is of course the toy gun. And if he can't get his hands on a toy gun, he will probably just get some stick-like object (like the broom) and pretend it's a gun or a sword. He will be in a world of his own, looking for enemies to kill or dragons to slay.

And the cartoons a boy enjoy always involve some kind of fights and triumphs of good over evil. When I was young, my favourite cartoons include Transformers, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, X-Men, Batman and Spiderman.

I think that as guys, there's has always been something fierce deep within our hearts. Hence, every time we watch any of the above movies, there's always a longing to be like the main character.

In modern day society, it has always been taught that aggression is no good. Well, I feel that instead of curbing the aggression inside guys, we should turn it to become some kind of passion towards something more worthwhile.

And I'm not just talking about being passionate for sports. Even doing well in studies can be considered a battle for guys.

Guys, look for the right battles to fight for. And when you do find them, FIGHT.

I Want to be a Warrior!

A few months back, I was reading this book called "Wild at Heart" by John Eldredge.

In the book, I was really intrigued by many of the things the author wrote about guys.

In a nutshell, this book basically says that guys nowadays have often forgotten what it really meant to be like guys.

What the author is trying to say is that at the very core of every guy, there's something that's WILD.

I personally believe in the 3 wild characteristics that the author mentioned. I could really identify myself with them.



1. Guys need a Battle to Fight.


2. Guys need an Adventure to Live For.


3. Guys need a Beauty to Rescue.


For the next few postings, I will talk more about each of the above 3 characteristics.

I want to be a Warrior!

2007 is a Year of Victory for Me!!

How time flies.. 2006 passed by just like that. But I'm really thankful for all the things that happened.

Key highlights for myself include:

1. I was baptised in Faith Community Baptist Church in Feb.
2. I got attached in Jun.
3. I graduated from NUS in Jun.
4. I taught for the 1st time in Tanjong Katong Sec. School in July
5. I started my term in NIE in August
6. I finished 10km Standard Chartered Marathon Run.

This year, 2007, I believe it's gonna be even more exciting. I want to share my top 3 resolutions with everyone. I think the more people we share our resolutions with, the more we are motivated to accomplish them.


1. I want to be an excellent teacher.

As the saying goes "a mediocre teacher teaches, a good teacher motivates, an excellent teacher inspires". I really aspire to be a teacher that can inspire my students.





2. I want to spend more time with my family, including my brother's family.

I look forward to every Saturday whereby my niece (4 years old) and nephew (3 years old) come to my house. I always have so much fun playing with them. This year, I want to make it a point to intentionally come back home for dinners and spend time with my family.




3. I want to complete 21km Standard Chartered Marathon Run this year.

I have ran 10km in 2005 & 2006. I think it's time for me to go for another level of challenge - 21km run. The last time I did 21km was when I was in the army 6 years. It's not going to be easy, now that I'm 26 years old, but I'm willing to train and try for it.