Importance of Fathers

The second chapter of the book is entitled 'The Journey of Fatherhood'. The role of a father in a child's life is crucial even in his early developmental years. Two things really spoke to me.

Firstly, at 18 months, my child or toddler does not just mimic my actions or words. He is able to imitate the tones, actions and attitudes of the most persuasive influences in his life - mum and dad. Hence, I need to be very conscious of my behavior and be a good role model for my child in every situation (I can do it, by the grace of God!).

Secondly, I need to communicate with my child using positive words. Even in times of correction, I should speak from the 'negative side of the virtue' rather than the 'negative side of the vice'. For instance, instead of asking "are you lying" which focuses on the vice, we can ask "are you telling daddy the whole truth" which focuses on the virtue.

I guess the above two principles apply to me especially as a teacher in a secondary school too. God, help me. 

'Why' is more important than 'How'

I'm reading through this book on parenting toddlers. The first chapter touched on the principle of 'why'.

Many parents (myself included) are often very fixated on the 'how' and the methods of doing things. We forgot the 'why' behind. And that causes us unnecessary stress.

For example, we are very frustrated at our toddler's behavior and we raised our voices at him. We then expect him to comply but he doesn't. In our anger, we become even louder and things still don't improve. We have missed out the 'why' part actually. If it is our intention to teach our toddler a lesson for poor behavior, there are other methods of correction besides raising voices. We can give him a time-out, put him in the cot, hold his hand firmly, etc.

Well, the fact is that the principle of 'why' applies to every aspects of life (and not just parenting). (:

Next time, ask 'why' first.