Monday, April 30, 2007

Getting the Better of Your Emotions

Here are 3 suggestion as to how we can help manage our emotions (esp. anger & depression) better. If you have any other suggestions, please leave a comment or tag.


Idea 1: Find a healthy community of friends.

No man is an island, especially during our teenage years. We always look for companionship and friendship.

Somehow, we just like to form cliques. There's always this certain group of friends that you particularly like to hang out with. And these are people we can share our feelings & emotions with.

The key here is that this community of friends that we're closed to, should be healthy. If this group always gets into trouble in school and outside of school, and sarcastic remarks are the norm, I really don't think it's a healthy group.

Look for a group where you can find
1) Kind & encouraging words are always there.

2) Trouble-free from the school authorities and parents




Idea 2: Learn to forgive.

Most often than not, when we are angry, we're angry at people. In every relationship between friends, family or even married couples, there's bound to be conflicts. When these conflicts are not handled properly, there will be a lot of anger.

Well, you can be passive and keep the anger within yourself. Everyday, you can wake up hating the person, and very soon, you will miss out on the joy of life. Haven't you seen people who are always angry? They're angry at everyone they meet. How can they be happy?

Or I suggest you can make the first move when you're angry with someone. Take the step to forgive and be reconciled with the person. Nevermind if the other person is still angry. At least, you have done your part. Trust me, you will feel so much lighter.



Idea 3: Find a mentor.

A mentor is someone who can guide you in your life.

Often, young people lacked wisdom and maturity in handling their emotions. Seriously, think about it, an angry 15 years-old sharing his anger or depression issues with another 15 years-old, what advice can the other person give? After all, they are of similar maturity and age.

Well, the truth is, most of the time, older people are really wiser, because they have more experiences in life.

I really hope that young people will find good mentors whom they can trust and share their problems with.





Saturday, April 28, 2007

Who's Controlling Who? Your Emotions or You?


When you are angry, what is it that you wish to do do?


1. Stuff yourself with as much food as possible.


2. Go watch a comedy in the cinema to make yourself happier.


3. Be alone and don't talk to anyone.


4. Go exercise and sweat it out.


5. Find some friends and chill out with them.


6. Go read a book.


7. Go and sleep, pretend that nothing has happened.


8. Blog or write down it your diary about what happened.


9. Play computer/PS/Xbox games (maybe online ones like Mapel, Dota or WoW).


10. Take a gun and go shoot all those people that made you angry.


I hope none of you chose the 10th option. Just last week, the world witnessed the worst campus shooting in the United States. Cho Seung-hui, a student in Virginia Tech, killed 32 people, before killing himself.

I have no idea what exactly Cho Seng-hui was going through. But I believe that when he committed the act, he was extremely angry and depressed. He wasn't in control of his emotions. His emotions were in control of him.


Sometimes, when I look at the students in my school, I realised that some of them seems to be always angry. They would always show angry faces. Vulgarities come out freely from their mouth. They speak rudely to peers and teachers.


I don't think this only happens in Springfield. Generally, many of our young people in Singapore nowadays have problems controlling their anger.


Anger seems to be controlling them.



It's perfectly normal for anyone to feel angry at times. However, the difference is how a person manage his anger. If, in his anger, he did something impulsive and hurt others or even himself, then it's bad. Or alternatively, if he keeps trying to contain the anger within himself, and doesn't share with anyone, it's like a built-up volcano. Once this person erupts in anger, the consequences can be very serious.


However, I believe that there are ways to help young people control their anger and emotions. I have 3 suggestsions that I would like to share :

1) Find a healthy community of friends.

2) Learn to forgive.

3) Find a mentor.



(To be continued...)






Sunday, April 22, 2007

The Truth about Failure


Today, I came across this saying about "Failure". I would like to share this with everyone:


Failure doesn't mean you are a failure...
...it does mean you haven't succeeded yet.


Failure doesn't mean you have accomplished nothing...
...it does mean you have learned something.


Failure doesn't mean you have been a fool...
...it does mean you had a lot of faith.


Failure doesn't mean you have been disgraced...
...it does mean you were willing to try.


Failure doesn't mean you don't have it...
...it does mean you have to do something in a different way.


Failure doesn't mean you are inferior...
...it does mean you are not perfect.


Failure doesn't mean you've wasted your life...
...it does mean you've a reason to start afresh.


Failure doesn't mean you should give up...
...it does mean you should try harder.


Failure doesn't mean you'll never make it...
...it does mean it will take a little longer.


Failure doesn't mean God has abandoned you...
...it does mean God has a better idea!



Author: Robert Schuller





Saturday, April 21, 2007

Each Day is a Gift, that's why We Call it the Present

Just a few days ago, I heard that one of the students in Springfield had been admitted to the hospital. She was allegic to some medication that was given to her. I do not know the exact details, except for the fact that she's only Sec 1, 12+ years old. And she's fighting for her life in the hospital.

I had been going to the hospital almost everyday, for more than one and a half months. My grandpa stayed in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) at SGH for more than a month. Just like the Sec 1 girl, he was also fighting for his life.

Thank God that a miracle happened and he survive (despite him being 82 years old)! He's much better now, and is no longer in critical condition. I pray that the Sec 1 girl will also experience the same kind of miracle as my grandpa.

I really feel that life is precious. Every single second of it. We would never know when our life would suddenly end. But I guess, the key question that we all should answer would be: "If I am to suddenly leave this world, what are the things I have left behind?"

"Is it a lot of unresolved issues with my loved ones? And have I caused them so much pain and hurt?"

No. Everyday, I want to be able to be a blessing to the people around me.

Whatever accomplishments that I may have gotten, (like my degree, like my car, etc) they are of no value when I leave this world. People will forget them very quickly. But if I am able to touch lives and transform them while I'm alive, I believe that these are things that will last.

Treasure each day of your life. Don't waste it. Always be a blessing to others.








Monday, April 16, 2007

A Frustrated Student

Today, during school hours, I walked past one of my students. He was sitting right outside General Office, and not attending any class. I walked right up to him, and asked him what he was doing there.

" 'Cher, last Friday, they said that I was rude to the teachers. Hence, I have been asked to write a report of what happened. But 'Cher, I really wasn't rude. I was just asking the teacher something. "

"Is there anything else you did?"

"Well, I did exclaim something out. A vulgarity. But I was just exclaiming it. I didn't mean to use it to scold any of the teachers."

Honestly, if you ask me, perhaps what the student said was true. He didn't intend to use the vulgarity to scold any of the teachers. However, over the years, I realised that sometimes, it is not who you think you are that matters most. It is actually what others think of you.

In the case of my student, he genuinely believed that he had done nothing wrong. But from the teachers' perspective, obviously it seems that he had scolded them. Hence, it is nothing wrong that the teachers want to discipline him.

I think that this applies to every stage of our lives. Human relationships are very complicated and not easy to handle. We have to be conscious of what others think of us. If we're not, we might offend or hurt the people around us unknowingly.

However, there is a balance to this. We need to have a set of basic values and principles that we want to uphold in our lives, and we cannot compromise them even if our peers disagree with us.

To summarize, we need to be conscious of what others think of ourselves, as well as be ready to stand up for the basic values and principles in our lives.





Saturday, April 14, 2007

My Plaques / Medals in Springfield Sec

Yesterday morning, we had our annual school run at Bedok Reservoir. All the students and staff of Springfield were gathered there early in the morning for the 4.5km route.

Some of the teachers (including me) were asked to run as well.

Here's my number tag...



The competitive student runners went first. Following right behind them are the teachers. After about 30 minutes of panting, running, struggling and persevering, I finally finished the race.

By then, I was really exhausted. I haven't really been exercising for the past 1 month or so.

To my surprise, among the staff, I actually came in 2nd in position. During the prize presentation, the school principal presented a plaque to me.



Of course, I'm happy to receive a plaque. My fellow practicum teacher joked with me, "Hey, I don't want to be in the same school with you next time. You always win all the awards!"

He was just joking. After all, for this Bedok Reservoir Run, I was the youngest male teacher that ran. Well, I have an advantage in terms of age as compared to the rest of the male teachers. Furthermore, the PE teachers did not take part as well.

During the school's Sports Day a month ago, I also won something. I got second in a class relay with 3F , as well second for the staff relay.


My Medals...


However, as I reflected, while it is good that I win these plaques and medals in Springfield, I felt that these are very temporal stuff. Very soon, people will forget about these things.

I'm nearing the end of my 10-weeks practicum soon. I have about 4 more weeks to go. I need to be frank and ask myself this question:


What have I left behind in Springfield?


Honestly, right now, at this present stage, I seemed to have left nothing worthwhile behind.

What I desire to leave behind are students whose lives are transformed. Even if it's just one student, it would be good enough for me. I think that is really more important and lasting than any plaques or medals.

I must somehow leave behind a legacy in Springfield.



Tuesday, April 10, 2007

What is LOVE?

What exactly is LOVE?

Just last night, I was talking to my Ah Po (grandma). She told me something that shocked me. She said that she and my Ah Gong (grandpa) had been married for 63 years!

Isn't that amazing? I think that's really love.

Love is when I see my Ah Po going hospital everyday to visit my Ah Gong even though she's already 83 years old.

Love is when I see them committed to one another in marriage for 63 years.

I think this is the kind of love that I would want to go for. Committed love.

Love is really about commitment. Sadly, in this present day context, the value of the word "LOVE" has been cheapened. People just say "I love you" without thinking about its true meaning. There are so many divorces nowadays that out of every 10 marriages, 3 end up in divorce. And we're talking about Singapore.

I pray that I would be like my grandparents when I get married. They really understand the word "LOVE" and "COMMITMENT".


My beloved Ah Gong & Ah Po



Saturday, April 07, 2007

Thank God It's Friday!!!

Good Friday used to be just an ordinary holiday for me. I looked forward to it because there's no school, and I can go out with my friends.

But in recent years, since I became a Christian in 2003, Good Friday has taken on a really different meaning for me personally. It's a day whereby Christians all over the world remember our Lord Jesus going to the cross 2000 years ago.

And this year's Good Friday, I did something different. Together with another lady leader in my church, Kelly, we brought our youths to West Coast Park to have half a day of fun and to also share the true meaning of Good Friday.

Altogether, there were about 25 youths, and everyone really had fun! All these wouldn't have been possible if not for the planning committee, Venelyn, Yingxin, Kenneth Pang, Tzer Wern, Joanne, Valerie and even little Kimberly. I really thank God for these wonderful youths who rose up and came up with this great event!! You guys were really great!!

Of course, besides having Treasure Hunt and Water-bombing, we had Praise & Worship. It was a time whereby we all settle down in our hearts and sang songs to our Lord Jesus.

Good Friday. It's truly a day whereby we celebrate the greatest miracle of love. Our Lord Jesus, being the son of God, is willing to die for us in the most brutal manner (which was the cross). He had the power to resist, but He chose not to.


The only reason is that He loves us. He loves you and I. That's the greatest miracle of love.

"For God so loved the world, that He gave His one and only son, so that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life."
- John 3:16

If you truly want to experience a miracle of love, you don't have to wait another day. You can do it now. Just invite Jesus into your heart. He loves you.