Winning Isn't Everything

How time passes. I have been the teacher I/C of Raffles Basketball for nearly 5 years. I was just asking myself this question recently - when was I proudest of Raffles Basketball as teacher I/C?

Yes, I was proud of our team when we won C Div National's 3rd in 2008. And of course, all the South Zone titles that we have won over the years - I'm proud of that too.

But the memory that I really cherish is not any of those.

It was 2011. National's round 2. Our B boys have lost our first game to Jurong Sec by 14 points. We won our second game. Still, if we want to make it to National semi-finals, we have to win our last game by 10 points or more. The only catch is, we have to defeat Dunman Sec - East Zone Runners-up, and highly rated (and yes, eventual 2011 B Boys National champions). And we have to do it without our key player - CC who dislocated his shoulder.

The game started with Dunman Sec completely outclassing and dominating Raffles. Our players couldn't find our shots and their players couldn't stop scoring. At one point, Dunman Sec was leading by around 30 points. Many people - perhaps even myself - thought that was it.

Then gradually, things began to change in the 3rd and 4th quarter. Our players did not gave up. They clawed back into the game by hustling for every single loose ball, playing tight defense and shooting the ball really well.

Finally, with 5 seconds left, the scoreline was leveled at 46-46! Our point guard BK stood at the free-throw line and missed two free throws, perhaps hoping to go into extra-time so that we have a chance to beat Dunman Sec by a larger margin. Alas! We couldn't get the rebound, and we accidentally fouled their star player who calmly put in the two free-throws.

Yes, we lost the game 46-48. But I dare say that was the proudest game for me as teacher I/C. Why? Because our players fought relentlessly and demonstrated resilience despite the overwhelming odds. They stood up tall as a team and showed everyone what Raffles is all about.

Every player contributed and gave his best. This kind of experience for the boys can never be taught nor imparted. They have to go through it firsthand themselves. And this is probably more important than winning the championship. In my opinion, that's what school sports should be all about.

Well, I particularly like it when the Dunman Sec coach told me what he thought about our basketball team - "RI 象一只打不死的蟑螂，真难搞！" (Translated: RI Basketball is like a cockroach that is really hard to kill!) Somehow, that gave me immense satisfaction.

Tuition(s)? Is this for real...?

I read about this today in the Straits Times - Parents hiring help to do tuition homework. This blows my mind - that some parents are actually hiring a second tier of tuition teachers to help their students with tuition homework of 'elite' tuition centers.

How can this be..? I am totally dumbfounded.

As a teacher, of course I believe in the importance of education. Perhaps, I can understand if parents would like to have tuition for their kids in certain subjects that they could be struggling with. But having extra tutors to cope with existing tuition homework just simply doesn't make sense. I don't want my son's childhood to be just completely about studies!

Honestly, so what if you have excellent academic grades but you do not have sound values and good character? There's really so much more to life than academic grades - and seriously, I don't think that life is going to be rosy just because you make it to an IP school (many parents will do anything to get their children into IP schools).

At the end of the day, I really believe that it is the character and values that we developed in our adolescent and teenage years that is going to see us through our adulthood.

I pray that this is just a false alarm - very few parents are engaging second-tiered tuition teachers. I hope.

A Resilient & Generous Spirit

Yesterday, I visited Madam Choy as part of CNY visitations, together with some of my cell youths, as well as my wife and Isaac. I witnessed for myself first-hand the meaning of a resilient and generous spirit.

You see, Madam Choy is blind and yet, she has to take care of her husband who suffers from dementia. On top of it, she does some kind of handicraft by making beautiful baskets from wires and beads. If this is not about being resilient, I don't know what is..

Altogether, there were about 13 of us who visited her. She insisted on giving us red packets since it's still CNY. To our suprise, she gave each of us (yes, including my wife and I) $8! That's $104 in all! To us, perhaps it's not a big sum. But I am quite sure, to her, $104 is no small sum.

She also shared with us that she gave away $1000+ to charity when someone raised some money for her. Her simply reply was that since someone helped her, she ought to help others too.

Many of us gave out of our wealth. But Madam Choy gave out of her poverty. Indeed , she's just like the widow described in Luke 21 "As Jesus looked up, he saw the rich putting their gifts into the temple treasury. He also saw a poor widow put in two very small copper coins. 'Truly I tell you,' he said, 'this poor widow has put in more than all the others. All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on.' ”

Madam Choy is truly generous and resilient. I have a lot to learn from her.

Discontentment

Over the past few months, I have been struggling with some feelings of negativity. Then I realized that the root of my unhappiness was that I was not contented.

I was not contented because I compared myself with someone else who has what I don't have.

It seems to be in our human nature to always want to compare with someone whom we perceive to be doing better. As a result, often we feel unhappy, resentful and even jealous.

When I was young, I compared myself with my friends who did exceptionally well in their studies (like those who got straight A1s). Then I started comparing myself with my friends who obtained overseas scholarships. As I get older, I compared myself against my peers who seemed to be super-high achievers in both the private industries and civil service.

What I have forgotten is that I myself have not been doing too badly either. I hope to learn from Apostle Paul, who says it plainly in Philippians 4:12 "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."

I think that for me to overcome discontentment, I need to be thankful that I have been blessed with things that many people don't have. Also, I need to trust that God would supply all that I need.

And finally, that brings me peace, joy and contentment.

Remember the Poor

Galatians 2:10 "All they asked was that we should continue to remember the poor, the very thing I had been eager to do all along."

During this festive period, while it is not wrong for us to celebrate and have some fun here and there, I think that it is very important for us to remember the poor.

Very often, when many of us think about this phrase "remember the poor", the first thought that comes to our minds would be something like we need to donate some money, visit some homes, help out at some centres, etc. Yes, these are all things that we can and should do.

But I would like to approach this "remember the poor" from another angle.

My sister-in-law just came back from a short-term mission trip to Batam. There, her team and her met many people who lived in poor conditions. There was this particular lady that she met who had problems making ends meet. In fact, everyday she would have to walk to a far away place just to get food for her family. When my sister-in-law asked the lady what her prayer requests were. Her simple answer was "please pray that I am able to attend church every week".

She didn't ask for food, nor other material things. She only asked to be able to go church every week. My sister-in-law was deeply touched, as were I and my wife when we heard the story.

Materially, we may be far better off than this lady from Batam. But spiritually, she is probably way richer than most of us here.

When I remember the poor now, I also remember that the poor may be happier and spiritually richer than me. And I hope to love and desire Jesus as much as they do.

Importance of Fathers

The second chapter of the book is entitled 'The Journey of Fatherhood'. The role of a father in a child's life is crucial even in his early developmental years. Two things really spoke to me.

Firstly, at 18 months, my child or toddler does not just mimic my actions or words. He is able to imitate the tones, actions and attitudes of the most persuasive influences in his life - mum and dad. Hence, I need to be very conscious of my behavior and be a good role model for my child in every situation (I can do it, by the grace of God!).

Secondly, I need to communicate with my child using positive words. Even in times of correction, I should speak from the 'negative side of the virtue' rather than the 'negative side of the vice'. For instance, instead of asking "are you lying" which focuses on the vice, we can ask "are you telling daddy the whole truth" which focuses on the virtue.

I guess the above two principles apply to me especially as a teacher in a secondary school too. God, help me. 

'Why' is more important than 'How'

I'm reading through this book on parenting toddlers. The first chapter touched on the principle of 'why'.

Many parents (myself included) are often very fixated on the 'how' and the methods of doing things. We forgot the 'why' behind. And that causes us unnecessary stress.

For example, we are very frustrated at our toddler's behavior and we raised our voices at him. We then expect him to comply but he doesn't. In our anger, we become even louder and things still don't improve. We have missed out the 'why' part actually. If it is our intention to teach our toddler a lesson for poor behavior, there are other methods of correction besides raising voices. We can give him a time-out, put him in the cot, hold his hand firmly, etc.

Well, the fact is that the principle of 'why' applies to every aspects of life (and not just parenting). (:

Next time, ask 'why' first.

Every Day is part of the Journey

Lately, I've been thinking about this.. there were perhaps a number of things that I had done in my youth which I kind of regret now.

Would my life be better now if I had not made some of the wrong choices/decisions? I was initially very tempted to say 'yes'. But upon further reflection and seeking the Lord about it, somehow I realized that the answer is likely to be 'no'.

Okay, of course, the kind of wrong choices/decisions are not the fatal kind like killing someone or getting killed.

Our past experiences shape us and mold our character. We have ups and downs, highs and lows in our lives all the time. Every day has the potential to be richly filled with learning experiences, loving memories and of course, discouraging setbacks.

It is never about the setbacks that stumble us. It is the way we deal with them that is important.

Every day is part of the journey - love it. That's why I'm retaining this blog title - Loving Every Day!

Just look at Isaac - He loves every day! =D

Review of Year 2008

On looking back, 2008 has been a challenging, yet amazing year for me personally. Through it all, I can only say that God has been faithful and good. He has given me a certain level of successes at almost every front. I'm quite sure I could not do it, if not for His grace.

1. I was given full teaching load in school, together with other departmental and committee duties.
To RI basketballers: You guys have fought hard together in 2008 and achieved commendable results. And that has taught me more about the Rafflesian Spirit. Thanks, guys!

2. I continued to serve actively in church as a cell leader, imparting my life to the cell members under my charge.
To Kenneth, Jarrell, Kevin, Joel, Joash and Glenn: You guys have been great and teachable. Thanks for sticking together all these years. I've seen all of you grown both physically and spiritually. I am really privileged to be your cell leader.

3. I continued to be active in community work - serving as an adult volunteer at TOUCH Cyber-Wellness Centre almost every Sat.
To Yong Hong, Andy, Nicholas, Yongsin, Mukhlis, Vishnu and Jin Chai: Thanks for being part of us all this while. You guys made a difference to my life.

4. I had to plan my wedding together with my then-fiancee, Dawn.
Planning a wedding must be one of the biggest project anyone would undertake - especially if you intend to get married in Singapore. But thankfully, Dawn and I had a great team of helpers, led by my wedding coordinator, Wai Mun, who made almost everything run smoothly throughout my actual wedding day.


I'm thankful that 2008 didn't pass by just like that. My life has been touched by many people, and I too, had the chance to touch some lives.

I'm looking forward to the year ahead, 2009. It is going to be another extraordinary year for me, I'm sure of it. Not only I have God, but I now also have my wife, Dawn to face the challenges of life together with me. =)

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Honeymoon in Korea Day 6

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Honeymoon in Korea Day 6

Greetings from Korea yet again. We're now at a ski resort in Muju. We won't be doing any ski-ing though. Just rested here last night.

The resort's design & architecture is really interesting & elaborate. (:

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Honeymoon in Korea Day 3

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Honeymoon in Korea Day 3

Finally, we found a place in Korea with free wireless Internet access. It's a Dunkin' Donuts outlet in Jeju Island.

It's been a great trip so far. Just that the weather for the first two days had been incredibly cold. Today it's much better. (:

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Life without Limbs...

Nick Vujicic is back in Singapore.

Born limbless, Australian-born Nick faces far greater life struggles than most, but he breaches and overcomes these barriers with the power of God’s love. Today, Nick trots around the globe to bring his amazing testimony of hope, love and strength to millions worldwide. So get ready to be transformed by another of Nick’s inspiring message for us. (FCBC Website)

If you want to have a change of perspective of life, come and be inspired!

Sunday (9th Nov) 1:30pm @ Expo Max Pavilion

Car-check!

Today, I finally did something that I've never done before. I learned from my dad how to do a car-check in 5 minutes.

It may sound strange. But in the past, I always relied on the helpers at petrol stations to help me check.

(to be continued...)

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Happy & Blessed Birthday, Junhao!

Last Sunday (yesterday) was Junhao's birthday. I really thank God for Junhao - a good brother to me all this while.

He has being such an encouragement to me and my faith. And I know that I can count on him when I need help. That's what spiritual brothers and family are for. =)